Dealing with Emotional Vampires: Protect Your Energy

You know those people who leave you feeling drained, deflated, and questioning your sanity? Yep, those are emotional vampires. For years, I thought there was something wrong with me for feeling so awful after certain interactions. Understanding the concept of emotional vampires has been life-changing. It’s about identifying those energy-sucking dynamics and building the tools to protect myself.

Key Takeaways

  • Awareness is my shield: Before, I’d just feel icky after an encounter, not realizing why. Now, I’m attuned to how certain people consistently leave me feeling depleted or unheard. This awareness is the first step towards setting boundaries.
  • It’s not always intentional: Some emotional vampires are oblivious to their effect on others. But even unintentional energy drain is harmful! Recognizing the pattern is key.
  • My needs matter: I used to feel guilty enforcing boundaries or saying “no.” Now I realize that self-preservation isn’t selfish. Prioritizing my emotional well-being is essential.
  • Limited exposure is sometimes the solution: I can’t change others, and sometimes the best option is minimizing contact. This makes space for healthier relationships to flourish.
  • Recharging is non-negotiable: After spending time with an emotional vampire, it’s crucial to replenish my energy. That might mean solo time, being in nature, or doing activities that bring me joy.

Bonus Tip: If I’m anticipating interacting with a known energy drain, I visualize myself surrounded by protective white light. Sounds cheesy, but it helps!

What are Emotional Vampires?

They are people who leave you feeling depleted and exhausted after spending time with them. They can be friends, family members, romantic partners, or even coworkers. These individuals often exhibit certain behaviors that make them draining to be around.

One common type of emotional vampire is the “attention seeker.” These individuals constantly demand attention and validation, often at the expense of others’ needs and feelings. They may interrupt conversations, dominate group discussions, or make everything about themselves. Another type of emotional vampire is the “victim.” These individuals constantly complain about their problems and seek sympathy and attention from others. They may also use guilt to manipulate others into doing what they want.

They can also be critical and controlling. They may criticize others’ choices and behavior or try to control them in various ways. This behavior can leave you feeling inferior and helpless and can be very damaging to your self-esteem.

Recognizing the characteristics and behaviors of emotional vampires is the first step in protecting yourself from their negative energy. By setting boundaries, avoiding certain individuals, and practicing self-care, you can reduce the impact of emotional vampires in your life and maintain your emotional well-being.

4 Types of Emotional Vampires

There are different types of emotional vampires, each with their unique traits and characteristics. Understanding the different types of emotional vampires can help you identify their behavior and protect yourself from their negative influence.

1. Narcissistic Energy Vampires

They are individuals who are obsessed with their own needs and desires. They seek constant admiration and attention from others, often putting their own needs ahead of those around them. They have a strong sense of entitlement and may become aggressive or manipulative if they do not get what they want.

2. Victim Energy Vampires

They are individuals who always play the victim. They often complain about their life and seek constant sympathy and attention from those around them. They can be manipulative and guilt-trip others into doing what they want.

3. Dramatic Energy Vampires

They thrive on creating drama and chaos. They enjoy stirring up trouble and causing conflicts, often for no apparent reason. They can be emotionally exhausting to be around and may create a toxic environment.

4. Control Energy Vampires

Control energy vampires seek to control others’ thoughts and actions. They may use manipulation, guilt, or coercion to get what they want. They can be very manipulative and may cause you to doubt your own thoughts and feelings.

Emotional Vampires Signs

Identifying them can be difficult, especially if you are not aware of their behavior. Here are some signs that someone might be an emotional vampire:

  • They always talk about themselves and their problems
  • They are constantly negative and complain about everything
  • They seek constant attention and validation from those around them
  • They make you feel guilty for not doing what they want
  • They manipulate and control those around them
  • They never apologize for their behavior or take responsibility for their actions

Emotional Vampires in Relationships

They can be particularly damaging in romantic relationships. They can drain your energy, leaving you feeling emotionally and mentally exhausted. Emotional vampires in relationships may exhibit controlling behavior, jealousy, and manipulation. They may also be emotionally distant or exhibit hot and cold behavior, leaving you feeling confused and uncertain about the relationship.

Dealing with Emotional Vampires

Dealing with them can be challenging, but it’s essential to protect yourself from their negative influence. Here are some tips for dealing with emotional vampires:

  • Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries and stick to them. Let the emotional vampire know what behaviors are not acceptable, and be firm in your boundaries.
  • Practice self-care: Take care of yourself, both physically and emotionally. They thrive on draining your energy, so it’s crucial to take care of yourself to avoid burnout.
  • Don’t engage in their drama: Emotional vampires thrive on drama, so it’s best not to engage in their drama. Stay neutral and don’t let them draw you into their negative energy.
  • Seek support: Talk to a trusted friend or family member about your experiences. Having a support system can help you stay grounded and provide you with an outlet to vent your frustrations.

How to Protect Yourself from Emotional Vampires

Protecting yourself from them can be challenging, but it’s essential for your mental and emotional wellbeing. Here are some tips for protecting yourself:

  • Recognize the signs: Be aware of the signs of emotional vampires and trust your instincts. If someone is draining your energy and leaving you feeling exhausted, they are likely an emotional vampire.
  • Limit your exposure: Limit your exposure to them as much as possible. If you can’t avoid them altogether, try to limit your time with them and set boundaries around your interactions.
  • Focus on positive relationships: Surround yourself with positive, supportive people who lift you up and make you feel good about yourself. Positive relationships can help counteract the negative impact of emotional vampires.
  • Practice self-care: Take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally. Engage in activities that make you feel good and energized, and prioritize your own needs and wellbeing.

Dodging Emotional Vampires

Sometimes the best way to deal with them is to avoid them altogether. Here are some tips for dodging emotional vampires:

  • Avoid toxic people: If you know someone is an emotional vampire, try to avoid them as much as possible. You don’t need that negativity in your life.
  • Trust your instincts: If someone gives you a bad vibe, trust your instincts and stay away. Your intuition is a powerful tool for protecting yourself from emotional vampires.
  • Surround yourself with positivity: Fill your life with positive people, experiences, and activities. Focus on the good things in your life and let go of the negativity.

Emotional Vampires Psychology

Emotional vampires can have a significant impact on our psychological well-being. These individuals tend to exhibit manipulative, controlling, and narcissistic behavior that can be emotionally draining and toxic.

Psychologists have identified several types of them, each with their own distinct characteristics and behaviors. Narcissistic emotional vampires, for example, tend to be grandiose, lacking in empathy, and constantly seeking attention and admiration. They may manipulate and exploit others to fulfill their own needs and desires.

Histrionic emotional vampires, on the other hand, may exhibit excessive emotionality and drama-seeking behavior. They may use emotional manipulation and attention-seeking tactics to maintain control over others and satisfy their own emotional needs.

Psychological research also suggests that they may have underlying personality disorders, such as borderline personality disorder or narcissistic personality disorder. These disorders can cause individuals to have difficulty regulating their emotions and may contribute to their emotionally draining behaviors.

Protecting yourself from them may require understanding the underlying psychology of these individuals and recognizing their manipulative tactics. It’s also important to practice self-care and set boundaries to limit your exposure to them and maintain your psychological well-being. Seeking support from a therapist or counselor can also be beneficial in dealing with the psychological impact of emotional vampires.


They can have a significant impact on your mental and emotional wellbeing, but there are ways to protect yourself from their negative influence. By recognizing the signs of emotional vampires, setting boundaries, practicing self-care, and surrounding yourself with positivity, you can minimize their impact and take control of your own emotional wellbeing.

Remember, you have the power to protect yourself from emotional vampires. By taking steps to recognize and deal with their behavior, you can maintain your energy, focus, and emotional health. Don’t let emotional vampires drain you of your happiness and vitality – take charge of your emotional wellbeing and surround yourself with positivity and support.


  1. What is an emotional vampire? An emotional vampire is someone who drains your energy and leaves you feeling exhausted, depleted, and emotionally drained. They may exhibit controlling behavior, jealousy, and manipulation.
  2. What are some common signs of an emotional vampire? Common signs of an emotional vampire include being overly critical, needy, or demanding. They may also be emotionally distant or exhibit hot and cold behavior.
  3. How do you deal with an emotional vampire? To deal with an emotional vampire, it’s important to set clear boundaries, practice self-care, and limit your exposure to their negative energy. Surround yourself with positive people and experiences, and focus on cultivating positive relationships.
  4. What are some types of emotional vampires? Types of emotional vampires include narcissistic energy vampires, drama queens, and constant talkers. They may also exhibit controlling behavior, jealousy, and manipulation.
  5. How do you protect yourself from emotional vampires? To protect yourself from emotional vampires, it’s important to recognize the signs, limit your exposure, and practice self-care. Surround yourself with positivity and supportive people, and prioritize your own needs and well-being.