In this article, we decided to share with you how to overcome the fear of rejection. Fear of rejection is one of the main reasons why many guys are afraid to approach the girls they like and why many girls refuse to approach the guys they like. The fear of rejection can be an anxious and paralyzing experience, followed by holding your breath and our pronounced effort not to take any action that could possibly put us in a situation of being rejected.
Rejection is our reaction and response to something we do not want and we most often manifest it through words and behavior. Rejection is also one of the possible answers we can get from other people to our questions, desires, needs, initiatives or demands.
How to overcome a fear of rejection? Our life is a struggle between our need for acceptance, our fear of rejection, and a desire to not care at all. When you give yourself permission to communicate what matters to you in every situation you will have peace despite rejection or disapproval. Putting a voice to your soul helps you to let go of the negative energy of fear and regret.
Fear of rejection is one of the main reasons why many guys are afraid to approach girls they like and why many girls refuse to get into a relationship with guys they like. Right at the beginning, we will distinguish between normal nervousness (butterflies and stomach stabs, shortness of breath and other bodily sensations that are an integral part of nervousness) that everyone has when approaching someone they like and fear of rejection. If you want to write, write. What stops you is not the act of writing but the expectations that you attach with the result. If you love someone, tell them.
What stops you is not the act of expressing but the fear of rejection. You cannot control other people or their reactions. But if you never create, if you never express, if you never do the act, there will never be any reciprocatory reactions, positive or otherwise.
When you give yourself permission to communicate what matters to you in every situation you will have peace despite rejection or disapproval. Putting a voice to your soul helps you to let go of the negative energy of fear and regret. Shannon L. Alder
If you base your decisions on your fear of being rejected, then you are decreasing your chances of being accepted. Be brave enough to set yourself up for acceptance. The fear of rejection holds back a lot of people, they’re scared of what word “NO”. Here is how to overcome a fear of rejection.
I would rather go through the pain of rejection and learn from it than be too scared to not go after my dreams.
How To Overcome The Fear of Rejection
Working to overcome this problem involves changing your self-image, or working on unconditional self-acceptance. To solve this problem you need to understand how you create and maintain a negative image of yourself, to re-examine the realism, logic, and pragmatism of that kind of reasoning.
When a person gains insights into how he or she creates self-defeating attitudes toward himself/herself, he/she can give up on them and begin to think in a way that is realistic, logical, and self-helping.
In addition to changes in the way we think and perceive ourselves, there is also a need for practice, that is, the application of what has been learned in practice, in real-life situations. As long as a person avoids situations in which this fear occurs, they cannot solve this problem.
Only when confronted with their fears, but now in a new, constructive way, will a person be able to gradually but successfully overcome them. Most people give up at the 1st sign of defeat… Some have experienced very painful experiences, rejection directed at them personally – in the form of absolute rejection and rejection of them and of what they are.
Others were not rejected because of their essence, but the rejection was about their desires and needs. Many have experienced rejection as a presently unfavorable condition, which says nothing about them, but is only related to that context, to the person who is in a position to reject them and their possibly inconvenient nature.
Why Are Some People So Afraid of Rejection?
What is so terrible about rejection itself? There is nothing terrible in rejection itself, horror is a subjective experience of a person who is rejected and not an objective state in reality. Not everyone evaluates rejection as something horrible, unbearable, shameful, very unpleasant, something that cannot be tolerated. Rejection is certainly an unpleasant but not a horrible, unbearable experience.
Some people themselves are prone to the horror of rejection. These are people who think that rejection by a person they like is proof of their unattractiveness, shortcomings, inadequacy, inferiority (regardless of which aspects of personal inadequacy the person focuses on in his thoughts).
How to Get Rid Of The Fear of Rejection?
How to get rid of the fear of rejection? Working on overcoming this problem means changing the image of yourself, that is, working on unconditional self-acceptance (read the text on this site: Unconditional self-acceptance).
To solve this problem, a person must understand how and in what way he creates and maintains a negative image of himself, to re-examine the realism, logic and pragmatism of that type of inference. When a person gains insights into how he/she creates self-defeating attitudes towards himself/herself, he/she can give them up and start thinking in a way that is realistic, logical and self-help.
In addition to changes in the way of thinking and perceiving oneself, practice is also necessary, ie the application of what has been learned in practice, in real-life situations. As long as a person avoids situations in which this fear occurs, he cannot solve this problem. Only when he faces his fears, but now in a new, constructive way, will the person be able to overcome them gradually but successfully.
Why Is Rejection So Horrible For People Who Have a Fear Of Rejection?
First, because they believe that if they are denied that it is a confirmation, proof of what they otherwise deeply believe in, their own inadequacy, shortcoming or inferiority.
So, it is a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy (a person believes that he is inadequate and when he is rejected, he finds confirmation in reality for an initial opinion about himself).
The second reason is because people who believe in their own inadequacy are prone to excessive generalizations that are self-defeating. They think, if I’m short it means I’m not an adequate man, if I don’t have big breasts (or I have a slightly bigger nose) it means I’m ugly (totally unattractive), if I’m shy and I’m nervous in the presence of a person I like it means that I am a loser, etc.
A person finds one or two undesirable characteristics in himself (which can concern either physical appearance or personality traits), based on that he makes excessive generalization and concludes accordingly: I am a less valuable (unattractive) person, I am not a real man, etc.
Third, since these may be some permanent, unchanging, or difficult-to-change personality traits (such as height, intelligence, nose shape, etc.), the person concludes that since these traits cannot be changed, they will be forced to feel less valuable to the end. of his life, which can create feelings of hopelessness and helplessness. Such attitudes towards oneself often lead to avoidant behavior, reinforcing and maintaining the fear of rejection and often depression.
If we summarize all that has been said, we can say that people who are afraid of rejection have a negative image of themselves, feel insecure and have a strong (excessive) nervousness when they approach people who are attracted to them.
They persistently maintain a negative image of themselves because they are prone to excessive generalizations (which increases self-depreciation), avoidance, and self-affirmation of their irrational, self-defeating attitudes towards themselves.